Three loyal executives get axed in a corporate downsizing frenzy that upends their lives. They each cope differently as they slip through the cascading stages of anger, humiliation, anxiety, introspection and so on, until they find their own resolve.
The answer is NO. Facebook is not shutting down…. Well anytime soon anyway.
The internet is flipping out over the rumor that Facebook will be done and over starting March 15th, 2011. This story has gone so far as to reach Huffington Post, a sensationalist periodical in their own right. What everyone who didn’t take the time to do a quick search of the term “Facebook Shutting Down” and click a couple times haven’t realized is that the source of the rumor is none other than the OG of fake-news hype, Weekly World News.
This newspaper, now supposedly defunct (but their blog seems to be running just fine?) has been creating fake news since waaay before the Onion was ever conceived of. Images of drug dealers being sawed in half, young adults moving into nursing homes, Bat Boy making such an impact on the world as to be worthy of an off-Broadway play – wacky!
PALO ALTO, CA –Mark Zuckerberg announced that Facebook will be shut down in March. Managing the site has become too stressful.
“Facebook has gotten out of control,” said Zuckerberg in a press conference outside his Palo Alto office, “and the stress of managing this company has ruined my life. I need to put an end to all the madness.”
Zuckerberg went on to explain that starting March 15th, users will no longer be able to access their Facebook accounts.
“After March 15th the whole website shuts down,” said Avrat Humarthi, Vice President of Technical Affairs at Facebook. “So if you ever want to see your pictures again, I recommend you take them off the internet. You won’t be able to get them back once Facebook goes out of business.”
Zuckerberg said that the decision to shut down Facebook was difficult, but that he does not think people will be upset.
“I personally don’t think it’s a big deal,” he said in a private phone interview. “And to be honest, I think it’s for the better. Without Facebook, people will have to go outside and make real friends. That’s always a good thing.”
…
“I don’t care about the money,” said Zuckerberg. “I just want my old life back.”
The Facebook Corporation suggests that users remove all of their personal information from the website before March 15th. After that date, all photos, notes, links, and videos will be permanently erased.
A new study, the second in as many months, found that people display withdrawal symptoms when cut off from the internet. I believe it…hell, my eye starts to twitch just talking about it.
The scientists asked volunteers to stay away from all emails, text messages, Facebook and Twitter updates for 24 hours. They found that the participants began to develop symptoms typically seen in smokers attempting to give up.
Research indicates that lesbians tend to make more money than heterosexual women. Over at Big Think, Marina Adshade attempts to demystify the phenomenon:
Sure, lesbian women are better-educated on average, are more likely to be white, live predominantly in cities, have fewer children, and are significantly more likely to be a professional. But even when you control for these differences, the wage premium is still on the order of 6%.
It is fascinating when the data starts looking like the majority is being discriminated against. Is it wage discrimination, though, or is there an economic argument for why lesbians are getting paid more?
Also see the making of…. and the story if you haven’t hear yet.
A life-sized Dalek and a set of gold teeth worth $6,500 are just some of the odd items left in rooms by guests, a hotel chain has revealed.
Bosses at Travelodge say other bizarre things left in their rooms in 2010 include an antique rocking horse, a 4ft yam and $10,000 in cash.
After reviewing their lost and found offices staff were also surprised to find a superintendent’s ID badge, Keys to a Rolls Royce Phantom and a traffic lollipop stick.
Meanwhile the most common items left behind were mobile phones, gadgets, laptop computers, teddy bears and books.
Slightly worryingly artificial limbs were the seventh most frequently forgotten items… followed by adult toys.
1. Mobile Phones
2. Gadgets
3. Laptops / games consoles
4. Teddy Bears
5. Books
6. Clothing items / Toiletries
7. Artificial limbs
8. Hen / Stag accessories / adult toys
9. Handbags, Briefcases and suitcases
10. Jewellery
